Regular readers know that there is a group of guys –proud
alums of JCI from the 1960s - who hold a Golf Tournament & Reunion/Revival each
year. Benita has often asked about the people involved. When I sent the details
of the 2013 event to The Diary the other day an interesting thing happened! Lady Minerva calls and says: “If I’m going to
promote this event, I want to know who these people are. What are they like?
What keeps them interested in getting together? What have they done for the
last 50 years or so?”
In deference to Benita and particularly Lady Minerva, this
short piece is offered. It is not about any specific alum, but about us all.
By “all”, I mean a group of about 50, a number we grow a
little each year. We share a fascinating Jarvis experience, and are all about
the same age. To a man there is a respect for Jarvis, many of the teachers and
coaches and each other. We enjoy golf and love to tell stories. We like to play
and participate in the broadest sense of both words. Most important, we are good
friends. How we got to be is not a simple story; we came from very different
places and backgrounds, but we’ll try to explain.
Going to Jarvis put a lot of different teenagers on a boat
together … kind of a Minerva’s Ark if
you will. The student body (and our group today) was made up of an incredible
mix of people, personal histories, experiences, backgrounds and cultures.
Jarvis took a few people like “this” and a few like “that” and sent them on a
voyage together. We were challenged immediately by some great teachers, many of
whom were just starting out too. We immediately faced greater competition
academically, socially and athletically and soon learned about getting along
with new people. Jarvis was a forerunner of the society that all Canadians are
still trying to perfect … a multi-cultural society where differences are
understood, appreciated and enjoyed but whose members share common bonds and
objectives. I think we had this flexible society stuff nailed way back then.
In our day there were
groups of kids who already knew each other from their various public schools
but there were others who didn't know anyone. There were Toronto Island folks, National
Ballet School people, transferees from private schools and kids from every part
of the downtown … from Regent Park, Rosedale, Danforth/ Broadview, Cabbagetown and
more. Some kids were from multi-generational Canadian families and many came from
other countries. Some lived a “Canadian life” at school and an ethic
one at home. Reciprocal visits to our new friends’ homes were enlightening. Many
Jarvisites had been severely impacted by World War II. Some kids had been born in refugee camps. Some families had been forced to live in
Canadian internment camps for the duration of the war. Some never knew their fathers who had died in
military service. There were also differences in family economic and social
circumstances. We had divorced parents and single parents and others with
wonderfully long marriages. We had
different academic and social abilities too.
Some got dates whenever they wanted, others didn't and a few actually
“went steady.” A few in our group even ended
up dating the same girls at different times! There were some great students and
some who liked Jarvis so much they stayed an extra year or so! Some were really
good athletes and others not so great, but Jarvis teams gave us a sense of
identity and created special bonds, not just with colleagues but with some
special teachers and coaches.
Socially, we quickly realized that differences in outlook, food,
religion, custom and personal approach didn’t matter. They were celebrated in a
matter-of-fact way and even kidded about from time to time. One thing each guy
in our group had then and still has today is a good sense of humour. The term politically correct didn’t have the
breadth of meaning that it does today; nicknames and the like were commonplace.
There was no shortage of name-calling. And we pulled stunts, told jokes and sometimes
laughed at each other which made it easy to laugh at ourselves. Does the fact
we became and remain friends imply thick skins or conscious tolerance? Not
really; I think it reflects a good sense of humour and good natureness. These
are traits and instincts that Jarvis allowed us to develop and which
characterize our interactions today.
Your friend was your friend; your colleague on the field or
in the club or your partner in Chem class was just that; it didn’t matter where
the guy came from or what his folks did. We just – somehow naturally – became (lifetime!)
friends. That’s why we like to get together.
Despite being friends with common memories we are as diverse
a group today as were starting out. We have guys with kids, others with none.
Some have been married for 30 or 40 years; others have been serial husbands! We
grew up to become dentists, teachers, lawyers, company owners, food and
beverage executives, club managers, accountants, civil servants and
entrepreneurs who came to know a variety of sectors: electronics, telephone,
automotive, plumbing, international banking, life insurance, government,
travel, music and printing to name a few!
So, why do we like to reunite? First, there is the young kid
in us. This side remembers – and loves recalling - the problems and
coups and fumbled balls and missed dismounts, a terrible math mark, a great
teacher jumping out of the closet to
start a class, great coaches who inspired us, good teams and bad teams, wins and losses, girls and sock-hops, walks home from school, playing sax with the desk vents in Chemistry class, raiding the drink fridge in the gym, bus rides
to games while singing “On Top of Old Smokey”, the JCI Fight Song, and “The
Wild West Show”, Cadets and marching in
the halls when it was too rainy to have the annual Parade and Review outside, the
eclectic coffee shop “La Voltaire” across the street (a communist hangout some
thought), a small peep hole to the girls’ dressing room, having a Vice Principal
confront some truant golfers at Don Valley, shooting some pool at Kerry’s, hustling to Woodbine for the last two races, pick-up
hockey and skating dates at Ramsden, Riverdale and Rosedale Parks, getting a
Driver’s License, buying Suzukis, great lunches in the cafeteria, the milk cart, the formal each year, trips to
get patched up at Wellesley Hospital, a
French teacher (who couldn't skate?) coaching a couple of hockey games, skipping
the odd class, trips to the Principal’s
office, the strap , the odd fight in the school yard, the Beatle’s Contest, cokes
at Paul’s Ranch House or the Columbia Grill, hair cuts at Cas & Joe’s, standing
room and scoring cups at Leaf Games, Pecunia the Pig, the Magnet and so on. Re-sharing
stories is great. What one guy forgets, another will remember, so getting together
is a way of exercising our memory. This imbues us with humility as we are reminded
that we weren’t quite as hot as we thought! The young kid survives with love
and enthusiasm and just needs to keep getting out!
Second there’s a side of us that’s a little more mature.
This side enjoys learning about what the others have done and how they made
things work in their chosen lives. It’s great to share the post-Jarvis parts of
life with men built on the same foundation. Ours is not a group of strangers
even though many years may have passed since the first seeds of friendship were
sown. During our post-golf game “meetings” (which generally involves an
extended period of adult beverages) some exaggerated stories and wild claims
are tabled. Long ago it would have been easy to feel a little envious. But now
we enjoy one another’s successes. We know our Jarvis friends did - and still do
- make a difference in our lives; it’s OK to subconsciously take a little
credit and feel good doing it.
We respect each other
for the people we were and have
become … and recognize that’s partly a function of our Jarvis experiences. There
is a certain ease about getting together. We value being friends with adults
who know our inner kid. If we are not quite family, we are peers on many levels
… notwithstanding our varied starting places. Many of our guys have been
sharing special family events (like being Best Man at wedding(s) etc., over the
last sixty+ years. Talk about aching body
parts, the latest knee operation and fondly remembering those who've passed on to
the school in the sky adds some serious perspective to our get-togethers and
steel s our resolve to meet again.
And we will. “Let’s get together and have a real good time”.
NB. We hope that these thoughts will motivate YOU to reunite
with your Jarvis colleagues, cement those friendships and bring your Jarvis
group to the 2013 JCI Invitational Golf event. Let’s keep Minerva’s Ark afloat!
PS As mentioned that some of us played team sports at
Jarvis. I am biased but certainly believe that teams were a strong bonding
agent. There is a song on football by Kenny Chesney called “The Boys of Fall.”
It’s a bit hokey and a lot American, but there is something to the messages I
think. I rather see our group as the Team now. We are proud that we went to
Jarvis and we are proud to tell people. We are especially proud that we have
maintained a team of friends forged on the field of life in our formative
years. And now we’re on this team together, we will always support it.
Have a listen… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTKPZghFtq4
No comments:
Post a Comment